People Are Sharing The Dumbest Excuses They've Ever Heard, And I'm Dizzy From Rolling My Eyes

"Not my fault. YOU're the one who married me."

u/MessEverythingx recently asked r/AskReddit, "What’s the dumbest excuse you’ve ever heard someone use?" And we thought we'd share some of the most ridiculous responses.

Man with glasses saying "I can explain" in a Netflix scene

1. "Not my fault. YOU're the one who married me."

2. "'Well, it doesn't count. We're family. You don't really have to pay family back.' My brother after I asked him when he was going to start paying me back for the $5k he owes me."

3. "The most dumb excuse – 'That's the way we've always done it.'"

Man saying, "That's what I am. That's what I do."

4. "While working in a warehouse the boss said we had to work overtime because we were short staffed. They had just laid off 10 people!"

5. "I didn’t know I couldn’t do that."

6. "Someone broke into the house and burnt my report card."

A man in a red sweater talks on the phone in a kitchen. The subtitle says, "My sister's raccoon came... no, nothing with a raccoon!"

7. "A long time ago, I was working in a nightclub and I see, in front of me, my new boyfriend kissing a girl at the bar... Time to put my brain and heart back in place, I go to ask him if he doesn’t need help... He looks at me, bewildered... 'Oh my gosh! I’m sorry! I FORGOT we were dating!'"

8. "My favourite is still 'oh sorry, I’m washing my hair that night'."

9. "'I was just trying to get over you.' We hadn't broken up. I hadn't even thought about it. But for some reason he convinced himself that I was and so before I could 'break up with him', he decided that he was gonna try and get over me so it wouldn't hurt so much. He had a threesome with a stranger and his best friend at the time. A STRANGER. AND HIS BEST FRIEND. Safe to say I definitely broke up with him after that."

10. "Cat's christening."

11. "'It's my hamsters birthday.' This one was crazy."

I’m sorry, I can’t identify or describe people in images

12. "'I’m scared of taking the train by myself.' My friend said this to get out of plans after we had completely replanned everything on another date to fit her schedule, she regularly takes the train and bus to go places."

13. "My dad still brings this up, more than 20 years later. Apparently my younger brother insulted me, he said he wasn’t saying it to me, so my dad asked who he said it to. He said: 'The wall'."

14. "I had a coworker who was late to work most days and said he lacked the skillset needed to come to work on time."

Woman in a purple blazer says "You're late" in a room with holiday decorations

15. "A friend once told me they couldn't come to my birthday party because he 'forgot to put gas in the car... yesterday.' Still not sure how that one works."

16. "Someone called into work once because they 'locked themselves in their apartment'."

H/T to u/MessEverythingx and r/AskReddit for having the discussion!

What's the dumbest excuse you've ever heard? Let us know in the comments below!

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