DEAR MISS MANNERS: For my 40th birthday, my sister planned a bowling party. She is very organized, and pre-entered the names of all 12 guests into the lanes (two lanes, six people at each).
My dad arrived late, while we were in the fourth frame, and unexpectedly brought his girlfriend, Tiffany. My mom, his ex-wife, had stepped away and it happened to be her turn when they arrived.
Tiffany noticed she wasn’t on the board, and announced she was taking my mom’s turn. She made a big show of it.
Moments later, it was my turn. I stepped up to bowl, and shockingly, she shoved me aside, grabbed the ball and told me, “Let me show you how it’s done!” She took my turn, too. In the same frame.
I was so stunned, I didn’t know what to say, so I just muttered, “It’s my turn. I’m here.” She ignored me and even asked my dad to take a video of her bowling.
What should I have said? She took all my turns and everyone else’s for the rest of the game. No one knew what to say or how to stop her, since we don’t really even know her, and no one wanted her to be uncomfortable.
GENTLE READER: That is frustrating, since she was clearly oblivious to the discomfort of others. Miss Manners is proud of you for not returning the rudeness, but a talk with your father seems in order.
Something along the lines of, “You know we all want to get to know Tiffany, but she seemed far more interested in showing off her bowling prowess than in getting to know us. Perhaps we can meet for a meal so that we can just talk and there’s no pressure to win.” And then hope that competitive eating is not on Tiffany’s list of accomplishments.