Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, addresses a common etiquette dilemma involving a guest who refuses to use bath towels.
Guest's Peculiar Behavior
A reader writes to Miss Manners about a friend who prides herself on her good manners but exhibits some puzzling behavior. While the friend always writes handwritten thank-you notes and brings thoughtful hostess gifts, she refuses to use bath towels when staying over at the reader's house. Instead, she opts for the hand towel, leaving the reader feeling slightly insulted.
Uncomfortable Situation
The reader provides a well-stocked guest bedroom and bathroom for their friend's comfort during visits. Despite this, the friend insists on using only the hand towel to dry herself after showering, while she uses a bath towel at her own home. This behavior, though seemingly polite, comes across as an unintentional slight to the reader, who is unsure of how to address the issue without causing offense.
Miss Manners' Insight
Miss Manners acknowledges the reader's discomfort with their friend's unusual towel habits. While suggesting that the friend's actions may stem from a desire to avoid inconveniencing the reader with extra laundry, she also points out that this behavior veers into rudeness by prioritizing the host's convenience over the guest's comfort. The reader is advised to continue providing bath towels for the friend's use, subtly emphasizing their availability to encourage a change in behavior without directly addressing the issue.
In conclusion, navigating such delicate etiquette situations requires tact and grace. By gently reminding guests of the amenities provided for their comfort, hosts can address uncomfortable behaviors without causing embarrassment or offense.