Looks like Grandpa Ranty's playing 52-card pickup with his cranial capacity.
Many took Donald Trump‘s latest racist tall tale about Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio to be the crowning clown show at his recent presidential debate.
According to the Conspiracy-Theorist-in-Chief, the fine folks of Springfield, Ohio (not the one with the nuclear plant and the dysfunctional canary-hued family, mind you) have worked up quite an appetite. On stage, he boldly declared that Haitian immigrants are literally eating people’s pets. Cats, dogs, hamsters – no beloved furry companion is safe from the ravenous clutches of these people! It’s just the latest chapter in the Bumbling Billionaire’s never-ending saga of demonizing immigrants, a pastime as American as apple pie (which, incidentally, is the only thing he hasn’t accused them of devouring yet). Thanks to Trump and right-wing agitator Erika Lee, the cuckoo conspiracy theory touched off a powderkeg of violent threats and turned Springfield into a ghost town this week.
But maybe it’s time we lay off lambasting the Trumpster for these berserk shenanigans, seeing as the root cause is now painfully apparent: the Cheeto-in-Chief’s wheel is spinning, but the hamster’s dead. I tell ya, if you took a cross-section of Trump’s brainpan right now, it’d look like a hunk of Swiss cheese that’s been left out in the Florida sun too long. What other explanation could there be for him maniacally raving about an imaginary audience “going absolutely bonkers” for him at the debate against Kamala Harris? One of the basic rules was that no live audience would be present, along with mic-cutting and no earpieces allowed. Yes, the joint was emptier than Rudy Giuliani’s ethics classes.
OMG. Trump
— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) September 19, 2024
Just said that the audience at the debate went “absolutely crazy” when the moderators fact-checked him.
There’s one problem: There was no audience at the debate. pic.twitter.com/UEJXfuCMWP
That didn’t stop Trump from ranting on Gutfeld! that the nonexistent crowd went gaga for him, even as he bellyached about moderators “fact-checking me, practically every blessed thing I said” while giving Harris a free pass.
You’d think a megalomaniac with Trump’s planetary ego and mania for crowd sizes (he recently bragged about drawing a bigger audience than MLK) would have a firmer grasp on reality. But no, the Emperor of Exaggeration has indeed lost the plot entirely, and social media wasted no time pointing and laughing.
One user pictured Trump pulling phantom fans out of a hat:
I know he’s a clown, I didn’t know he’s also a magician
— Ivy Arias (@mrsivyarias) September 19, 2024
Others smelled the rank odor of cerebral decay:
The distortion of reality is just mind-numbing.
— Dave the Blind Guy (@DaveWarnedYou) September 19, 2024
…or mind DUMBING?
Either way, he does not seem "well". 🤨
Some didn’t mince words:
Narcissists live in their own delusional made up reality.
— Ryan Daigler 💙- Exposing Narcissistic Abuse 🚩🚩 (@Ryan_Daigler) September 19, 2024
Running for president is a grueling gig, especially when you’re a septuagenarian with a penchant for XXXL trousers. The rigors of the campaign trail would take a toll on anyone’s marbles. Whispers about The Donald’s dodgy gray matter have been percolating for dog’s years — from the “stable genius” auto-back-patting and waving at empty crowds, to verbal switcheroos involving electric boats, sharks, bacon, and Hannibal Lecter (!), to even wondering whether he was hotter now or before! (He isn’t—ever! Especially with that perpetual combover resembling a perished furry mammal draped over his skull… eww). However, his latest faceplant is several bridges past Realityville. Trump had previously spieled that “Sleepy Joe” Biden should go bye-bye from the race – pearls of wisdom the Grinch-Lorax lovechild ought to swallow himself before the Haitian Boogeyman haunting his nightmares hops off the dreamscape.