Co-Parenting Dilemma: Attending an Ex's Funeral for the Sake of Our Kids?

Dear Annie: My ex-husband is in declining health, and I fear the inevitable. It's been two decades since our tumultuous divorce, and our interaction ceased then. However, we share two grown children who have maintained a relationship with him. The question I grapple with is whether I should attend his funeral when the time comes. On one hand, it may be a gesture of respect and support for our children. On the other hand, my current husband believes it's unnecessary given our past and the lengthy estrangement. What would be the most appropriate and respectful action in this delicate situation? Dear Unsure: When the time arrives, have a conversation with your children about how they feel regarding your presence at the funeral. This event will hold significance for them, so understanding their needs is crucial for providing support. Should you choose not to attend, sending flowers or a heartfelt note to your children conveying your sympathy and solidarity is a considerate option. Ultimately, prioritize what feels right for you and your family, as expressing care, regardless of attendance, is paramount. Moving on to another concern, Dear Annie: After a decade of lost contact, my rekindled friendship with 'Amy,' an old high school companion, has been a delight. However, I've noticed a pattern of her borrowing money and failing to repay, citing various reasons like delayed paychecks or unexpected expenses. While I want to assist her, this practice is beginning to strain my finances. I'm torn between preserving this renewed friendship and avoiding feeling exploited. Should I continue lending her money, or is it time to establish boundaries? I'm uncertain how to broach the subject without causing discomfort. Dear Conflicted in Ohio: It's heartwarming to reconnect with an old friend, but it's crucial to set clear boundaries. Financial transactions within friendships can complicate matters when repayment agreements aren't upheld. Initiate an open discussion with Amy, expressing your appreciation for the friendship while conveying your inability to sustain continuous lending without reimbursement. If she genuinely requires financial assistance, consider exploring alternative resources or assisting her in managing her finances better. This approach demonstrates your support while safeguarding your own financial stability. Should she resist these boundaries, reconsidering the rekindled friendship may be necessary.