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33 Texts Absolutely No One Wants To Receive (Including An Accidental One From A Stepfather To His Stepson Asking For A "Birthday B")

If Alexander Graham Bell knew where this was all leading, he'd have tossed his invention into the ocean.

If you're like me, you've undoubtedly received a text (or 10) that made you look like this:

Well, we're not alone. Here are 33 people who received text messages that made them want to scream:

1. This impossibly awkward text a stepson received from his stepfather (who was clearly trying to text his wife/the stepson's mom):

A text exchange includes a birthday wish and a humorous message about giving nightmares, with friendly and playful responses

2. This text a dude received from his fiancée after working hard on making her a dinner to eat after she got home:

Text conversation: "The salmon is so dry I want to throw up eating it."

3. And these texts from a handyman who took a request to fix a ceiling light and made it W-E-I-R-D:

Used light fixture on a windowsill with text message stating, "Ok cool, it looks like it's a used fixture."
Text conversation about light bulbs for a house; one person offers to bring bulbs
Text conversation about coping with stress, asking to complete a project in the nude, with a disapproving reply

4. This text from a wife that SERIOUSLY left her husband hanging:

Text conversation with a person saying their phone is dying and they have bad news. Other person replies with concern, asking if everyone is okay

5. This text bomb a woman received after making the mistake of giving this dude her number:

Screenshot of text messages discussing various personal thoughts, including distance, interests, and feelings about time and existence

6. And this bizarro, out of left-field response from a friend who'd simply been asked if they'd had a power failure:

Text conversation where one person reflects on their emotional intelligence and societal perceptions, with humorous follow-up

7. This mortifying text from a boyfriend:

Text exchange about a humorous bedtime incident involving looking for UNO cards, cuddling, and laughter

8. These texts from a dad who has gone deep down the right wing conspiracy rabbit hole:

Text conversation about a major cyber attack affecting airports, banks, and 911 call centers. Person urges another to get home safely

9. And these texts from a "friend" who tried to claim the Trump assassination attempt was the most important world event since 9/11:

Screenshot of a text conversation listing significant events: COVID-19, Trump and Obama elections, Sandy Hook, and Hurricane Katrina
Text message list of significant events and technologies, including the euro's introduction, Brexit, and the rise of social media and cryptocurrency
Text message thread listing events: Kim Jong Il dies, Queen dies, Xi Jinping elected, Higgs boson, Snowden & Assange, Ebola, Amazon, Jan 6, Kim Jong Un elected, Juneteenth, Virginia Tech, 4chan
Text messages discussing importance: "All my coworkers disagree with you and agree with me. Every example you gave. Not as big a deal." Response questions cryptocurrency and iPhone invention relevance

10. This accidental text from a 15-year-old to her mom:

A text conversation where someone mistakenly sends a message about incense instead of smoke to the wrong person

11. These texts from an infuriatingly unhelpful doctor:

Text conversation: "both?" "Right foot. But pain on all sides of ankle" "ahh" "hmmmmm"

12. And these texts from a boyfriend (the two at the bottom) that killed the mood for his girlfriend who was hoping for a spicy afternoon conversation:

A text exchange discussing meeting up and a positive update about receiving a transfer of about 10% of Bitcoin

13. These texts from a middle schooler that read like a foreign language from the future:

Screenshot of a text message conversation discussing "Skibidi toilet," "What the sigma," "Rizz," and "Level 1000 gyaat."

14. These t3xts from a g33k who I would NOT lik3 to m33t:

Text conversation with various abbreviations and texting slang. Person 1: "No way. Im bout to lay dwn for a s3c. Ill hit u up when im abt to lay down."

15. And these texts from a seriously creepy father to his son's girlfriend:

Screenshot of a text conversation with affectionate and flirtatious messages, expressing admiration for the recipient's appearance and suggesting meeting again

16. These texts from a boss who only replies "Ok thanks" no matter what you send him, including questions:

Text message screenshot discussing issues with Facebook stuff, including request for profile addition and apologies for late notice due to not feeling well

Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks

Text conversation on a phone screen, one speaker shares they're unwell; later informs they're free every evening starting Oct 30 with flexible hours

Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks Ok thanks

A series of text messages discussing joining a Facebook messenger chat for shift opportunities. The conversations span multiple days with responses of "Ok thanks."

17. These texts from a nightmare roommate who is screaming (yes, screaming) at 4 a.m.:

Text exchange: Person 1: Too loud plz. Person 2: What's too loud? My phone or me screaming about the horrors of the world? Person 1: The yelling. Person 2: What was the point of texting me?

18. And these texts from another creepy dude hours after he bought $10 barstools from this woman on Facebook Marketplace:

A text conversation with someone praising another as beautiful, followed by the recipient politely declining the message

19. This text from a self-centered neighbor who could give zero shits this person's home burnt down:

Text message reads: "It's [redacted], one of your uphill neighbors. Sorry to hear about your fire. I hope your insurance is going to cover it. Can you tell me what your plan is? It's pretty unsightly right now."

20. This text from a girl who is nothing if not efficient:

Text messages between four people. Person A shares that they are reconciling with their ex and giving the relationship another chance. Person B sarcastically comments on the message being in a group chat

21. And these random-ass texts from an ex-wife:

Phone screen showing a text message conversation. One message asks, "Ignoring me??", another replies, "Was that for me?" followed by "I'd like to start painting model horses with an airbrush but I be broke."

22. These ridiculous texts from someone with seller's remorse:

Phone text conversation between two people where one demands the return of a MacBook, and the other refuses, insisting on compensation, resulting in a heated exchange

23. This text from a shockingly cheap homeowner to a cleaner:

A text message expressing satisfaction with past cleaning services, requesting monthly cleaning, asking for a discount, and mentioning concerns about water usage affecting their bill due to a new pool

24. And these texts from a customer who appears to have skipped all of elementary school:

Text conversation about missing cookies in an order, ending with a resolution offering a pickup for additional cookies
A text message complaint where a customer claims they received 20 cookies instead of 12, and expresses frustration over being asked to pay again

25. These pathetic texts from an arrogant, sexist jerk:

Text conversation: A man complains about women not wanting to meet in public. The woman questions his logic and responds humorously

26. These texts from a guy that took a hard left into inappropriate-ville:

A text conversation about video games ends abruptly with one person making an inappropriate comment, leading the other to block them

27. And these texts from an even grosser guy on a dating app:

A text conversation: Person 1 (grey messages) expresses boredom and an inappropriate desire, mentioning their daughter is nearby. Person 2 (green messages) responds critically

28. These texts from a friend who is a little slow on the uptake:

Text message conversation humorously discussing the impracticality of sending memes by mail in the 1800s due to the lack of printers

29. These texts from a doctor's office that charges you up the wazoo for canceling, but has no prob canceling on you:

Text conversation about confirming a doctor's appointment for Wednesday, May 29, 2024, at 6:00 PM. No names are mentioned

30. And these texts from a random account that, I guess, really likes SpongeBob:

Phone screen showing iMessages from an unknown contact saying variations of "Squidward" several times

31. These texts from an a-hole of a landlord who wouldn't just let his tenant's parents park on her graduation day:

Screenshot of a text exchange

32. These texts from someone who gives maddeningly unclear responses:

Text message conversation between Dan and an unnamed contact in a group named "The Council." Dan confirms the game is at 7

33. And this response from someone who was not here for this cutesy opener:

Text conversation with emojis: "Oh my god, I'm so sorry my ball rolled in here by accident. Anyway, so how are you?" Second reply: "Here you go. Have it back and [profanity]."

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